If You Go Down To The Woods Today…

If You Go Down To The Woods Today…

You’re in for a very nasty surprise. Contrary to its title, “Girl In Woods” is a movie about a girl lost at sea. No, i’m kidding, she’s actually lost in the woods. SPOILERS AHEAD But how did she get there? And what is she up to? Well, Grace ( for that is her name) got […]

Lost River

Usually i write about stuff i like. Or stuff i dislike but can have some fun making fun of. Lately though, i have been bumping into all sorts of crappy movies, the kind of thing that isn’t even good for mocking. And the main offender is this atrocious abomination called “Lost River.” Lost River? More […]

 Telekinetic Shenanigans Down South

Telekinetic Shenanigans Down South

It all seems pretty hackneyed. A bunch of twenty year olds are out in the countryside minding their own business when they end up stranded at some spooky old place where someone proceeds to spend the rest of the movie running around frantically serving them tea and crumpets. It seems like something which, apart from […]

“Holly shit! Dad has rabies!”

“Holly shit! Dad has rabies!”

This, i feel, would have been a far better title for The Barrens than…er…The Barrens. Set in New Jersey’s Pine Barrens but shot in Canada somewhere, this movie deals, in part anyway, with our old friend the Jersey Devil. Richard, a dude portrayed by Stephen Moyer, an English actor best-known for playing the world’s fastest-aging […]

Moose

Moose

It’s been a crap few weeks, so in order to cheer myself up i did what any sensible person would do — i drew a picture of a moose…  

Arnie Gets The Zombie Girl Blues

Arnie Gets The Zombie Girl Blues

Since my local DVD shop went out of business I haven’t bothered much with new movies, but the other day I was walking along when I saw, peeking at me from the front of one of those DVD rental ATM thingies that cause your local DVD shop to go out of business, this thing… Given […]

In Praise of Stepin Fetchit

In Praise of Stepin Fetchit

No, of course not. What am I, an idiot? We have all seen snippets of the Great Black Idiot being a dumbass, and as a result I suspect that most people think that was all he boiled down to – a dumbass n***er held up as an example of his race’s supposed inferiority. As offensive […]

"You Know Nothing, Jon Snow – Not Even How To Stay Alive!”

“You Know Nothing, Jon Snow – Not Even How To Stay Alive!”

Those bastards finally killed Jonny the Boy Scout… But have they? Sure, in the real world being stabbed so many times would almost always be the end of you, but reality doesn’t have zombies, dragons, or, above all, Red Priestesses. Since we don’t know what the hell is going to be in the novels and […]

Oh, my god! They killed Tyreese!

Oh, my god! They killed Tyreese!

Those bastards… Yes, it’s all getting very repetitive and tiresome in the land of The Walking Dead. Funnily enough, I joked somewhere that an obvious spoiler to the second half of this season would be some major character getting killed by the end of said season, but the joke turned out to be on me […]

Matango – Demon Fungus From Hell!

Matango – Demon Fungus From Hell!

SPOILERS AHEAD In this slab of 1960s weirdness, a bunch of badly dubbed Japanese tourists find themselves in some seriously psychedelic trouble after a storm damages their yacht and the current pulls it towards a mysterious island, an island that hides a dreadful, dreadful secret… Since there’s no point to staying on a yacht that’s […]