The Tall (Ish) Man

The Tall (Ish) Man

There are movies that are just plain bad. There are movies that are just plain good. Then there are movies that fall into the crack between the two categories. “The Tall Man” is one of the latter, and it’s stuck in there so firmly that not even several gallons of baby oil and an army […]

Stonehearst Asylum – Dull As Dishwater But Not Half As Appetizing

Stonehearst Asylum – Dull As Dishwater But Not Half As Appetizing

This is one of the worst movies i have seen all year. How anyone could take something as clever and bizarre as Poe’s “The System Of Dr Tarr And Professor Fether” and come up with such an unspeakably bland and boring piece of crap is an absolute mystery. The most unforgivable aspect of this unforgivable […]

Mr. Joseph Kerr, Esquire

Mr. Joseph Kerr, Esquire

Took me six months, off and on, to do this one and i am quite pleased with it. It’s a much looser style than i have ever used before and one which i intend to make my regular thing from now on. It’s much more expressive, more fun to work with, and actually easier to […]

The Descent of Woman

The Descent of Woman

A bunch of chicks go down a hole and wish they hadn’t. That’s pretty much it, when it comes to the plot of The Descent. But this movie isn’t about plot, or story, or fascinating and unexpected twists, it’s about some chicks…who go down a hole. The gals in this thing are a bunch who […]

If You Go Down To The Woods Today…

If You Go Down To The Woods Today…

You’re in for a very nasty surprise. Contrary to its title, “Girl In Woods” is a movie about a girl lost at sea. No, i’m kidding, she’s actually lost in the woods. SPOILERS AHEAD But how did she get there? And what is she up to? Well, Grace ( for that is her name) got […]

Lost River

Usually i write about stuff i like. Or stuff i dislike but can have some fun making fun of. Lately though, i have been bumping into all sorts of crappy movies, the kind of thing that isn’t even good for mocking. And the main offender is this atrocious abomination called “Lost River.” Lost River? More […]

 Telekinetic Shenanigans Down South

Telekinetic Shenanigans Down South

It all seems pretty hackneyed. A bunch of twenty year olds are out in the countryside minding their own business when they end up stranded at some spooky old place where someone proceeds to spend the rest of the movie running around frantically serving them tea and crumpets. It seems like something which, apart from […]

“Holly shit! Dad has rabies!”

“Holly shit! Dad has rabies!”

This, i feel, would have been a far better title for The Barrens than…er…The Barrens. Set in New Jersey’s Pine Barrens but shot in Canada somewhere, this movie deals, in part anyway, with our old friend the Jersey Devil. Richard, a dude portrayed by Stephen Moyer, an English actor best-known for playing the world’s fastest-aging […]

Moose

Moose

It’s been a crap few weeks, so in order to cheer myself up i did what any sensible person would do — i drew a picture of a moose…  

Arnie Gets The Zombie Girl Blues

Arnie Gets The Zombie Girl Blues

Since my local DVD shop went out of business I haven’t bothered much with new movies, but the other day I was walking along when I saw, peeking at me from the front of one of those DVD rental ATM thingies that cause your local DVD shop to go out of business, this thing… Given […]