Stonehearst Asylum – Dull As Dishwater But Not Half As Appetizing
This is one of the worst movies i have seen all year. How anyone could take something as clever and bizarre as Poe’s “The System Of Dr Tarr And Professor Fether” and come up with such an unspeakably bland and boring piece of crap is an absolute mystery. The most unforgivable aspect of this unforgivable […]
Lost River
Usually i write about stuff i like. Or stuff i dislike but can have some fun making fun of. Lately though, i have been bumping into all sorts of crappy movies, the kind of thing that isn’t even good for mocking. And the main offender is this atrocious abomination called “Lost River.” Lost River? More […]
Telekinetic Shenanigans Down South
It all seems pretty hackneyed. A bunch of twenty year olds are out in the countryside minding their own business when they end up stranded at some spooky old place where someone proceeds to spend the rest of the movie running around frantically serving them tea and crumpets. It seems like something which, apart from […]
“Holly shit! Dad has rabies!”
This, i feel, would have been a far better title for The Barrens than…er…The Barrens. Set in New Jersey’s Pine Barrens but shot in Canada somewhere, this movie deals, in part anyway, with our old friend the Jersey Devil. Richard, a dude portrayed by Stephen Moyer, an English actor best-known for playing the world’s fastest-aging […]
Matango – Demon Fungus From Hell!
SPOILERS AHEAD In this slab of 1960s weirdness, a bunch of badly dubbed Japanese tourists find themselves in some seriously psychedelic trouble after a storm damages their yacht and the current pulls it towards a mysterious island, an island that hides a dreadful, dreadful secret… Since there’s no point to staying on a yacht that’s […]